Hello Happy

20120917-220936.jpg

My friends… I am reeling.

Something happened recently that made me really question my trust in friendships, people and my gut instinct. I found out that one of my friends is not exactly who I thought…

I had a moment of pure shock, like a sucker punch to the gut. It made me physically ill. I could not believe this happened. I cannot share the specifics because it is not my story to tell, but it was a horrible experience and I never want to relive that moment again.

Sadly, the moment has replayed in my mind hundreds of times since it happened, and each time I feel the gut wrenching shock and disbelief. And sadness. Sadness for what could have been.

As time passes, little things, actions, situations have raised awareness of unusual events that should have alerted me to integrity of this person. I waver between protection and being truthful. I believe without truth we cannot heal or get help. But the sad part of it, is that the story really shouldn’t come from me. And on the surface, the impact only seems to be affecting me and my life. I see the façade of life returning to normal for this person.

I feel hurt and betrayed. I have confided in this person. I feel sad that I was placed in a situation that could/may have damaged my reputation, and other’s.

I understand that this person is in turmoil… but even in turmoil we hold ourselves to our own standard, and have known since childhood that we are not above the law. The fact that I opened up my life to let this person in alarms me.

I realize that I cannot let one incident impact my life so greatly, but I must say, this situation will cause me to pause, observe and be guarded the next time I think about allowing someone so closely into my life.

As time passes, I find myself getting angrier, so I really need to work on myself to let it go. I need some work too, I admit it.

I can forgive… forgive for my own peace of mind and for the hope that she gets help.

I must close my eyes…
Clear my heart
And Let it go.

20120917-221103.jpg

I will. I just need a little time. It helps to share it with you my friends… and it helps to have some closure on the situation.

And my incredible present friends, so thankful for true friends.

I have to remember:
For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.

20120917-221144.jpg

Good bye anger, hello happy!

🙂 Kris

Advertisements

8 Comments

Filed under Events

8 responses to “Hello Happy

  1. Good for you that you are giving yourself some closure. (Me too!) HELLO HAPPY!! Love you!

  2. Hang in there Kris, it is always helpful to share, share a sorrow it becomes half a sorrow–share a joy it becomes two joys!

  3. We all go through things like this. I gad an experience just last year. People even tried to warn me about someone, but I pride myself on judging for myself and not listening to gossip. Sigh. Well you know what they say about pride…and I was in for a fall. Not because she’s a bad person, she’s just feral. People who have had to be survivors, sometimes never seem to get out of survior mode; that means that even if they’re your friend, they still somehow think of you as the enemy. They have a better them than me attitude and will take whatever they can get until they cut you loose and hurt you before, as they see it, you hurt them. They have become quite adept at mimicing what friendship is, but they don’t really know what it means. I hope you understand my point: all we can do is our best to be the type of friend we want to be and use our best judgement we can make with the information we have at hand. They are responsible for their duplicitous behavior. I refuse to feel bad for trying to be a good friend to someone and it’s their loss if they throw it away because of their own issues.

  4. Kris,
    You are one of the Kindest and most Sincere people I know. It is indeed their loss. Bravo for You for being Honest and Forthright and using this venue to express Your feelings. In most cases many have experienced the same thing in some format or another. “She” is now out of Your Life and the countless ones who know You will BELIEVE in YOU • if that person ever chooses to try and cause more Pain or Sadness.
    Hugs to YOU and Hello Happy YOU!

  5. This post is a good sign that you are moving on. Know that I’m always there for you my pal. Time heals. Be Happy! Hugs! XOX

  6. ❤ I know that this will be read by "said" person, and for that, I want to be tough and protective and use big words, so that they know how much they have hurt my sister, but the biggest words I have, are that I know you with all my heart, and I know with all your heart, you will continue to step forward in this world with love and joy, because that is who your heart is…… Your heart is sad for "said" person more than you are embarrassed by "said" person's behavior…….your heart cares more about the other people who might have been hurt by "said" person, and no matter what, "said" person, can not steal that from you. Your ❤ rules!!! LUM LOVE YOU MORE!

  7. Gerry

    Sadly just today it happened to me with a family member. Trying to not be angry is very difficult. So sorry this happened to you. I love reading your blog and hearing about your family. True friends are rare. And this too shall pass. Hugs

  8. Thank you all for your comments! You have all been so supportive! I am so thankful for you! I am sorry for your pain! 🙂 Kris

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s